I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
