It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
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OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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