I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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