is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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