dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
