I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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