this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
