you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize