I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
