Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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