I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
