She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
