Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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