don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
