So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
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There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
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You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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