Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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