The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
