I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize