I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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