Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
