Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
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We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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