it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
