I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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