with your own penis?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
