if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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