butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
