Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
