Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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