I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
