her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
