whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
