im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
