Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
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the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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