Acid is not a monday night drug
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
