It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
