Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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