mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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