We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
