everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
