You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Boobs speak an international language.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
this hospital has no fireball
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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