White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I stole a fireplace last night.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
