i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
