Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
