I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
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It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
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Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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