I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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