I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
