i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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