You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
