I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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