is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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