arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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