Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
