I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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