so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
