Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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