my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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