So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
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