also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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