omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize