haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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