dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
