Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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