he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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