its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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