problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
